How do I disconnect AirPods from find my app

Remove an AirTag or other item from Find My on iPhone might have the answer (I don't have either AirPods or AirTags to test this, and though the support document nominates AirTags it must also be true of other devices in Find My such as AirPods):

You can use the Find My app to remove an AirTag or third-party item from your Apple ID so someone else can register it.

1. Tap Items at the bottom of the screen, then tap the item you want to remove.
2. Bring the item near your iPhone.
3. If the item is not near your device, you can still remove it from your account. However, the item must be reset before anyone can register it to their Apple ID.
4. Tap Remove Item, then follow the onscreen instructions.

There are similar instructions for iPad and iPod touch depending on which device you have - you didn't name it in your question.

When you first paired these AirPods to your iPhone they became associated with your Apple ID. To remove them from the Find My app, you just need to reset them, and then, do NOT pair them to your phone again.

Ref: How to reset your AirPods and AirPods Pro - Apple Support