How to ‘remove’ or modify access rights/usage off contacts list by Apple apps?

In the privacy section I see loads of Apple apps inspecting ‘contacts’ on a more than regular basis.

1) those don’t show up in ‘contacts’ access settings, why NOT?

2) how do I input my preferences for ‘Apple apps’?

3) is there a “shared with you” global setting or place to turn that off?

4) why would 3 even need MY contact list details instead of only the external parties (since I did not -knowingly- share anything)

(most should need the functionality at all, let alone have a default ‘do access’ setting!)