ScreenTime request message not shown in message app

i have to childs, each of them using iphone se, we are all on ios 16.1. since the update to 16.1, screen time requests from the kids coming as message in message app (formerly as push).

the problem: from one of the kids the request message is displayed properly and i can give him time (15 minutes, an hour...), messages from the other on are shortly shown (app icon, loading circle overlay) and then they are blank.

if i know that there are some messages i can choose multi select, than i see radios to select these blank messages, giving me the option to delete them.

i have to go to settings, screen time and give time from there...

any ideas?

both iphones restartet, screen time settings for the child not working deleted and configured again...