Managing screen time from my phone for a for 13 year old

I'd like to be able to manage the screen time for my 13 year old from my phone the way I could when he was 12. As many have mentioned before, for some reason Apple seems to think that 13 year olds are adults and no longer need supervision. He's still listed under my family sharing, but when I click on his profile the only option I'm given is to remove him from the family.

I was able to set limits using his phone directly, but I'd like to have the ability to over-ride those remotely if he's ever away from home (like at a sleepover where I'd give him more time). Also, when I did set it up directly from his phone, I was not given the option to select what contacts he could always text/call. That seems to be a major flaw,