Hi vinniefromflatbush,
You mentioned difficulties accessing Home Settings on the most recent version, but have you tried these exact steps from Allow others to control accessories in your home yet?
"Allow others to access your AirPlay 2-enabled speakers and TVs
- On the Home tab, tap
. - Tap Home Settings > Allow Speaker & TV Access, then choose an option.
You can allow everyone, anyone on the same network, or only people you’ve invited to share the home. You can also require a password that allows speaker access. To learn more about HomePod speaker and Apple TV access, see the HomePod User Guide and Apple TV User Guide."
In that menu, you can choose to require a password and also see or reset the password. If you're using a different version than iOS 16, that can be changed in the drop down at the top of the page to view appropriate steps to reach this section.
Regards.