Hello adaptablemomma,
The closest option to control someone's contacts is setting up restrictions via Screen Time. However, in order for you to remotely manage them and change settings, they would need to be apart of your family sharing account, as outlined at Use parental controls on your child's iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support. Under the Communication Limits, there is a feature for Allow Contact Editing that can be enabled or disabled.
Presuming that they're an adult, however, they can elect to change these settings on their own and not have Screen Time enabled. You can certainly submit feedback to Apple via Product Feedback - Apple to let them know what you'd like to see.
Thanks for using Apple Support Communities!