Ventura background colour options

Since upgrading to Ventura many months ago, I have had nothing but issues trying to figure out how to get back to the colour contrasts I used to have. Here are some examples

1. the display options are light, dark, or auto. With light or auto, if I open a web page it is typically white, and the fields in a form are also white so I can't distinguish where the fields to fill in are - there is no contrast. And for some reason, all of a sudden, everyone seems to be using light grey text on a white background - again no contrast and very difficult to read.
2. When I open Mail, same thing, the list of emails in the inbox is normal, but if I click on one of them to read in in the right pane, the email I selected is not highlighted - again, no contrast, so I can't tell which email I selected.

I have other examples I could site, but you get the point. What happened to all the options to control the look I need on screen?? Sees like Ventura threw them out the window - or am I missing something, like a deeply hidden menu?