I mean you're right.. it's not a TON of people. But a like button? The button literally says "me too". As in "I'm having this issue too". I doubt people are getting confused over that. If anything there's likely more people having the issue than 69. I doubt most people interact with articles; they just read them.
But that's neither here nor there. Here's some new info - I just went and bought a Logitech G502 Hero. $50 gaming mouse. Wired. Made sure to stick with the known brand and a wired mouse to play it safe. When I plug it in, the exact same thing happens - the Mac thinks it's a keyboard. After you "allow the accessory" the mouse technically works and functions from a hardware perspective - but the keyboard setup assistant pops up and says "Your Logitech device cannot be identified and will not be usable until it's identified." Exact same thing as the SteelSeries wireless mouse with a dongle.
You may think, well if the mouse is working what's the problem? The problem is that when you download the associated software (SteelSeries GG for the first mouse and now Logitech G Hub for this new mouse) - the software doesn't recognize the mouse. I finally got the SteelSeries software to recognize the mouse but when I tried remapping the buttons on the mouse to buttons on the keyboard - it didn't register. The software doesn't recognize the keyboard properly.
NOW, with the Logitech software, I can't even get the software to see that the mouse is active. The G502 Hero is showing up on the software but it's grayed out and says it's inactive. When I troubleshooted this the answer was that you just need to turn the mouse on. But it's a wired freaking mouse. There's no on or off button. I'm literally using the mouse itself to navigate the software, but the software thinks the mouse is off.
I can't necessarily blame this particular issue on the fact that the Mac thinks the mouse is a keyboard. It could be something else. But I've had this issues over the years gaming on MacBooks, it's always been the same. It's either the MacBook sucks at recognizing and logically syncing with external devices - or the companies that make the external devices suck at making their products fully compatible with Macs. I tend to think it's the former, but it's probably a little of both.
No idea what to do at this point other than buy a PC. But that ain't happening anytime soon.
Anyway, thanks for the response. I may do that - contact Apple. We'll see.