Songs greyed out but play in play list.

I hadn't visited Apple Music in quite a while and playlists because it's a nightmare. (I'm old; I don't listen to the latest; I don't care about any pop.) I used it to copy songs from my CD collection to listen to.

Some songs are greyed out on my playlist. Some are from old CDs. If I click the song, it plays. Why is it greyed out? And, here's the biggie. If I click on DOWNLOAD, to download a song from my collection, recorded by me, not commercial, not from a mass market CD, I get a message to join Apple Music or iTunes Match. Ah...no. To download my own songs? Some of these are recordings are family singing in a tape recorder.

Now, here's the thing. I subscribed for a free three months of Apple Music. Since there is very little for me on it, I listened to what I wanted, then canceled. Are all my songs now being held hostage in the cloud?

The nightmare continues.