My wife is somehow getting my calls, texts, and voicemails on her phone.

Mynameissamsneed wrote:

I also noticed my IMEI AND ICCID number was linked to her phone as well.

This is a criminal offense please report this to your local law enforcement authorities immediately. Keep a record of your complaint.

Mynameissamsneed wrote:

Realized I have an Apple developer and google developer account I didn’t open, my Chromebook was linked to her computer. Then I found a notecard with instructions in her handwriting on how to use live listen to spy. At this point I knew something was up so I started digging into this stuff. I ended up getting her phone and backing it up and extracting all the files and found a slew of hidden files in every app just about.

If you feel an unauthorized person/app is remotely using, controlling or monitoring your device, then that is possible only if you have done one or more of the following Don'ts...

1. Don't hand over an iPhone to kids or to a stranger without Enabling Guided Access
2. Don't share Apple IDs
3. Don't Jailbreak
4. Don't share sensitive information pertaining to your device
5. Don't give in to Phishing
6. Don't plug in your device in Airports and Public places through third-party cables and trust the device. Beware of Juice Jacking. (Especially in India)
7. Don't leave your iPhone unlocked and unattended in public places like offices, schools, malls, etc.

If one of the above is true then quickly change the Apple ID Password and Return iPhone settings to their defaults.

Mynameissamsneed wrote:

I ended up finding databases of all of my texts, calls, voicemails literally everything.

Please use a separate Apple ID for yourself.

These are features on iOS, iPadOS and macOS devices

• Use Continuity to connect your Mac, iPhone, iPad and ...
• Make and receive phone calls on Mac or iPad - Apple Support
• Forward SMS/MMS text messages from your iPhone to your ...
• or Allow phone calls on your iPad and Mac

Mynameissamsneed wrote:

This has been happening for 4 or so years now.

Instead of waiting all these years one visit to Genius Bar would have helped.

Get a Genius Bar Reservation and Apple Support Options - Apple

When you encounter issues with your Apple devices, the Genius Bar at Apple Retail Stores is the go-to place for expert assistance. The Genius Bar is staffed by knowledgeable Apple employees, often referred to as "Geniuses," who can diagnose and resolve a wide range of hardware and software-related problems. To ensure personalized attention and a convenient visit, Apple provides the option to schedule a Genius Bar Reservation.

Contact Genius Bar.

Manage Reservations - My Reservations - Apple

Take your device to an Apple Retail Store or Apple Authorized Service Provider, or contact Apple Support:

1. If you prefer face-to-face assistance, you can visit an Apple Retail Store. Apple Retail Stores are designed to provide a hands-on experience with Apple products and offer support services. You can speak with Apple specialists, known as "Creative Pros" in some locations, who can assist you with product-related inquiries or minor troubleshooting.
2. In addition to Apple Retail Stores, there are Apple Authorized Service Providers (AASPs) that are authorized to perform repairs on Apple products. AASPs are independent businesses certified by Apple to offer service and repairs for various Apple devices.
3. If visiting a physical location is not possible or convenient, you can seek support by contacting Apple Support. Apple offers various channels for support, including phone support, live chat, and email. The official Apple Support website provides information on how to reach out to Apple for assistance.

Finally, you can also start a repair log or track the status of existing repair --> Apple Repair and Repair Status Check - Official Apple Support

In summary, Apple provides customers with a range of support options, including the Genius Bar Reservation system, visits to Apple Retail Stores or Authorized Service Providers, and various channels to contact Apple Support for assistance with their products. These services aim to ensure that Apple users receive the necessary help and support whenever they encounter issues with their devices.

Mynameissamsneed wrote:

So before I start, to all of the “IPhones cannot be hacked” people that comment on every single post about a phone being hacked, it’s 2024. We put a guy on the moon over 50 years ago, the moon. Anything that hooks up to the internet can get got.

If you don't reckon what is said below is true then you have two options...

1. Report the hacking incident that you are facing to the local law enforcement authorities and follow it up
2. Believe it, it can't be hacked. There are people who still believe that the earth is flat and also some believe no one has ever landed on the moon. What can anyone do about that? This is a free world you can believe in anything, the choice is yours.

Keep the iPhone updated to the latest iOS always and never Jailbreak. That's it.

iOS / iPadOS devices cannot be hacked or infected with Virus / Malware / Spyware unless you have intentionally downloaded spurious software or unauthorized apps directly from the internet and installed them on your device or/and have Jailbroken. 

It (Hacking) also depends on how careful you are in sharing sensitive and valuable information pertaining to your iPhone such as Passcode, Password, etc with your friends and family members.

Be judicious when sharing the device's sensitive and valuable information with friends and family members.

Mynameissamsneed wrote:

(I used 3utools and imazing for the system files then just used Pzip to extract the app files from the actual apps) <~~~for all the people that say it’s impossible.

If a report is given by a third-party app you need to get in touch with them and contact them directly.

If you encounter any challenges with third-party applications, the best course of action is to directly contact the app developer for further assistance. Here's a brief guide on how to do it:

1. Identify the app developer.
2. Visit their website or app store listing.
3. Look for their contact information or support channels.
4. Clearly describe the issue you are facing.
5. Provide any necessary information they may need.
6. Follow their instructions and provide feedback.
7. Be patient and follow up if needed.

By reaching out to the app developer, you increase your chances of receiving accurate and personalized support for the challenges you're experiencing. To contact an App developer --> How to contact an app developer - Apple Support

The only thing in your post that isn’t completely paranoid and irrational is the subject line. That can be explained by the two of your sharing and Apple ID.