You are in full control of your Apple ID from your end only. This has been standard for several years now.
What you describe is account recovery used for two factor authentication. Account recovery is an automated two phase process once started. Phase 1 is the evaluation period, usually 24-72 hours but can be longer or shorter. This phase says Apple is evaluating your info and you’ll get an update after the posted time is over (people mistakenly think it means they’ll be able to reset the password immediately after this first phase.)
Once phase 1 is done it enters phase 2 where https://iforgot.apple.com/ will give you the final amount of days (can be weeks) you’ll wait. On that final day you’ll get a text/email, follow that text/email immediately.
Once you regain access to your Apple ID you can then sign out and erase your current iPhone and set it back up with the correct Apple ID.