SOLVED (for wireless connectivity)!
Step 1. Attempt to pair as usual and after a fail …
Step 2. Open iphone settings -> WiFi -> find car WiFi -> click into it -> press “Forget this network”
Step 3. iphone Settings -> Bluetooth -> check that car is not listed among devices. If listed delete it
Step 4. iphone Settings -> Search “car” -> open CarPlay -> see if car is listed and if yes then go in and delete it.
Step 5. Car steering wheel press “talking face” button until pairing dialogue appears on the car screen
Step 6. iphone Settings -> CarPlay -> tap on the discovered car and follow prompts on the phone and car screen.
i assume the issue was that phone had some residual memory of either WiFi network or Bluetooth settings and this needs to be wiped clean before pairing after the upgrade to iOS 17.5.1.
hope this works for you!