How do I remove a hacker from my iphone XR

The scale and scope of what you are reporting is well outside of the assistance anybody here can offer. You are reporting what amounts to being targeted with multi-million dollar exploits by exceedingly well-financed folks using espionage tooling, and any forensics investigation would require physical access, and any remediation-related discussions would involve potentially-sensitive details of your own life.

In general terms:

What to do: If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple Support

Also review the personal safety guide: Personal Safety User Guide - Apple Support

Run Safety Check, as described in the guide.

The sort of tooling involved in what you are reporting: About Apple threat notifications and protecting against mercenary spyware - Apple Support

What happens elsewhere such as at your financial providers or involving external hardware depends on how that can all be re-secured. Or replaced.

Change your device passcode too, as that’s a much easier way to load problematic apps directly and locally.

You have not been hacked. Have you jailbroken your device?

See, If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple Support

Personal Safety User Guide - Apple Support

CarrotCakeEater wrote:

Thanks very much for your advice Mr Hoffman. For weeks I have suspected that I had been targeted. No idea why as I am just an ordinary person. I installed iOS 17.6 today and now have lost total use of my iphone as non of my apps will open although notifications are getting through to me. Each app says "no internet connection" when I am getting a good signal showing on my iphone.

The far more mundane explanation would be a problem or misconfiguration or outage with the network communications, or problems with add-on apps including VPN clients and security-related apps, or problems with the iPhone hardware itself, of course.