Malware greatly affecting my iPad and iphone

Receipt of scam email and other messages are not easy to prevent. Messaging of this type is typically a method by which to persuade the potential victim to perform some action that itself can cause compromise of a device, or to manipulate the targeted victim into giving away personal or sensitive information that can be used to commit fraud.

Providing your iPad has been kept up-to-date with system software updates, you should not be overly concerned for your iPad being directly compromised by malware. Due to the sandboxed system architecture of iOS/iPadOS, unless jailbroken, your iPad is not susceptible to traditional malware infection per-se. However, as with all computer systems, there are still vulnerabilities and exploits to which you remain vulnerable.  For older devices, no longer benefiting from regular security updates, the risk of an unpatched device security vulnerability being exploited increases.

For avoidance of doubt, there are no true anti-virus products for iOS/iPadOS; thise that claim to provide any such protection should be avoided. While a VPN product may provide a degree of protection against very specific types of attack, they cannot protect you from exploits that you receive via mail/messaging or when accessing web pages.

Regardless of the installed version of iPadOS, there are useful mitigations that can be used to significantly reduce your exposure to risk. For iPad, ensure that you have updated to the most recent version of iPadOS - the most recent version being iPadOS 18.2.1.

The majority of threats to which you will be invariably exposed will surface via web pages or embedded links within email or other messaging platforms. Browser-based attacks can be largely and successfully mitigated by installing a good content and Ad-blocking product. By far the very best and most respected within the Apple App Store - designed for iPad, iPhone and Mac - is 1Blocker:

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/1blocker-for-safari/id1365531024

1Blocker is highly configurable - and crucially does not rely upon an external proxy-service of dubious provenance, often utilised by so-called AntiVirus products intended for iOS/iPadOS. Instead, all processing by 1Blocker takes place on your device - and contrary to expectations, Safari will run faster and more efficiently.

Unwanted content is not simply filtered after download (a technique used by basic/inferior products), but instead undesirable embedded content is blocked from download. 1Blocker has also introduced its new “Firewall” functions - that are explicitly designed to block “trackers”. Being implemented at the network-layer, this additional protection works across all Apps. Recent updates to 1Blocker has introduced additional network extensions, extending protection to other Apps.

A further measure to improve protection is to use a security focussed DNS Service in preference to automatic DNS settings. This can either be set on a per-device basis in Settings, or can be set-up on your home Router - and in so doing extends the benefit of this specific protection to other devices on your local network. I recommend using one of the following DNS services - for which IPv4 and IPv6 server addresses are listed:

Quad9 (recommended)

9.9.9.9

149.112.112.112

2620:fe::fe

2620:fe::9

OpenDNS

208.67.222.222

208.67.220.220

2620:0:ccc::2

2620:0:ccd::2

Cloudflare

1.1.1.1

1.0.0.1

2606:4700:4700::1111

2606:4700:4700::1001

Security focused DNS providers intentionally "sink hole" known bad or malicious websites and resources - this providing an additional layer of protection beyond that provided by your device and its Operating System. These DNS services will, when used alongside 1Blocker or other reputable Content Blocker, provide defence in depth.

There are advanced techniques to further “harden” iOS/iPadOS (such as using DoH, DoT and DNSSEC). Apple has recently introduced its new Private Relay to its iCloud+ subscribers - in part employing ODoH (a variant of DoH) as an element of this new functionality. DoH and DoT are now natively supported by iOS/iPadOS, however these protocols are only surfaced through adding a management profile to the device; this is easily implemented through using a third-party App such as DNSecure:

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/dnsecure/id1533413232

I hope this information and insight proves to be helpful. 

A VPN does not provide that service.

Exactly what messages are you seeing?

Under what conditions are you seeing those messages?