Hi adobesage,
Thank you kindly for your question, and welcome to this (user-to-user) community.
Re: "Why does Apple expect us to spend our time fixing their problems".
Does Apple expect that ? Privacy and security of our data are constantly under threat, those issues are often given the timely attention / priority by tech companies.
Seems it is the nature of technology to innovate new features. New features inevitably have (often invisible) bugs that aren't identified. Seems many bugs, oversights etc., (we're human) are not uncovered and worked out until the massive array of hardware models and software versions in use today have the features actually in use. Technology in all forms, not just from Apple, gives us joy, and pain.
Many difficulties that come up currently stem from unnecessary third-party apps, like virus checkers, ad-blockers, cleaners and the like, (even VPN if not supplied by an employer) being installed. Using uninstallers from their developers can often solve issues.
Interference from third-party apps can cripple our regular Apple apps, or even our devices, as many have found. Any necessary third-party apps also need to be kept up-to-date so they remain compatible.
If you use third-party apps:
You can check out some of the many symptoms of interference:
Eg: If your device has network connectivity issues, check for VPN and other third-party security software - Apple Support
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Re: "I am seriously considering changing".
If you can find anything better for your needs via another tech company ... feel free.
Myself, am grateful Apple's software and updates are free if you have the hardware.