I am having a similar problem as some of these posts mention, but I will spell out my scenario in more detail:
My boss has an iPad3, I have an original. Both are only connected via wifi within our work network, no cellular connection. We are still running SBS2003
My initial attempts to connect with settings similar to droid phones were unsuccessful, giving an "unable to verify" type error. One thing I noticed was that the error was almost immediate, not with the typical delay you might expect from a authentication attempt type connection.
After reading this thread I noticed that others were able to connect via cellular or Wifi outside the local network.
So the next thing I tried, which worked at least on my iPad, was to change the server address to our internal server IP address (10.x.x.x) The iPad hooked right up and sync'd up.
I suspect that when I go home I will change the server to our external IP address and it will then connect correctly "outside" our work network. A cellular connection would automatically be outside our network, obviously.
If this is true, then it brings up the issue of not wanting to have to change server addresses based on our current location (at work or not).
So... How to get the iPad(s) to connect via the internet even though the destination server is already on this side of our firewall? Or can it gracefully realize it's "location" and connect accordingly? Maybe via a second copy of the exchange account set for the internal vs. external IP...?