Since 10.8.1 my mail and calendars have been working much better, so I am functional now. That is a very good thing.
I use an external hosted exchange account, provided through GoDaddy actually.
If I use the "Autodiscover" service it will work great for a while, but then as soon as the external host pings back something other than the original internal server things go bonkers. By un-checking the Autodiscover service I'm able to keep this switch from happening, but it tells me that there are still some bugs in the system.
It seems to me that there might be an indexing problem of some sort? When I manually put the original internal server name back in all my emails automaticlaly populate, so they are still housed in my library. When the internal server changes then it seems that the connection to that library is misdirected or lost.
Some here have noted that the Autodiscover service will reactive after a re-boot. I suggest to take note of the initial internal server setting. If that happens, uncheck and put that name back in. Change mailboxes and come back and see what happens. It might bring all of your emails back without reconfiguring the whole thing.