So heres what I found out. Apparently if you had the "Find My iPhone" feature turned on when the update was run, issues were caused. People who have had mixed results from restoring probalby had this setting different.....for mine to resolve....i had to
1.Turn off find my iphone in settings->icloud
2.Re-back up to icloud
3.Full restore from iTunes (to reinstall ios7 with this setting off)
4.Restore from icloud backup taken at the beginning
5.Sync phone (hopefully as successfully for everyone else as for me....no songs to 5000)
6.Reinstate find my iphone if you so desire
I really hope this works for everyone else as well as it did for me.....its definitely not guaranteed but has resolved my issues......wifi sync is still failing but works everytime plugged in.