hallelujah, i fixed my mac and sync works again! so hi Jeff Ree, i'm trying to exactly describe what i have done, so that you soon can work and sync with your mac again - i know it drove me mad!
do you have a pre-itunes 11.4 back-up? this is quite essential, since if you have the same issue as i had, you should have all the undamaged files somewhere up your sleeve, before you follow cwa2's steps.
or perhaps check if you have the "/System/Library/CoreServices/CoreTypes.bundle/Contents/Library/MobileDevices.b undle". this was what i didn't have on my machine anymore and it seems that this was what messed my mac up.
if you have this file, carefully follow cwa2's instructions (you can find those in his post in this thread from Sep 13, 2014 10:50 PM (top of second page). if you have completed all those steps, and your mac acts normally, try to install the former itunes version 11.3.1 (http://www.v3.co.uk/v3-uk/download-review/1957301/apple-itunes-for-mac-1110)
if your mac looks a little crooked like mine (dock disappeared, safari disappeared, tasks took ages, some of the system fonts changed - especially time and date and battery display in the upper right hand corner) then you need your pre-itunes 11.4 back-up.
what you do now is, to replace all the files you deleted from cwa2's description with the ones from your back-up - you can literally copy and paste the files from your time machine back into the according folder. i also took the itunes icon from the back-up applications folder and copied that into my current applications folder on the hard disk(as well as the missing safari).
once i completed all the replacing - lo and behold - my dock came back, tasks went smoothly, and the fonts changed to normal again!
i verified that i had itunes 11.3.1 in my applications folder on my hard disk and opened itunes. the sync button wasn't greyed out anymore and i could sync all my stuff, just as before!
unfortunately, the apple support advised me to restore my ipad and even reset it to factory setting - which i did, and certainly shouldn't have! so it took me about the whole night to sync all my music and videos back.. but everything worked and is as before!
i really hope you didn't have that much a hassle...