I found a way to fix this for my monitor!!
So everyone's using SwitchResX ($16), but I found that since my monitor supports a DisplayPort connection, I switched from HDMI to DP using this cable ($9).
The problem is gone, and I'm back to being able to use my monitor.
I know this can't help anyone without an HDMI alternative, but it seems like Apple just dropped support for native resolution on high-res monitors over HDMI.
For those who want a quick primer on display ports: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f38sotYHqtA
(updated video link to a newer video)
P.S. I just found that some minor input lag when watching high-res video full screen is no longer present after switching away from HDMI.