I have a similar problem, except my Apple TV is the 4th generation, and I used to control it until sometime ago, but now it keeps searching and searching... :(
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Yes, the Apple TV Remote widget in Control Center only works with Apple TV 4 and Apple Tv 4K.
You can still use the downloadable App to control older Apple TVs.
Use and customize Control Center on your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support
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iOS 11 Apple Remote in Control Center with Apple TV 3rd generation