I spent many, many hours on this. First, on my own, and then in concert with a great Apple Level 2 tech. We spent so much time working on this, and she was so great, I feel like we're family!
Anyway, in the end the problem just went away. There's nothing on this discussion that we didn't try.
I bought my first Mac in 1984 (before some of you were born?). Don't ask me how much I paid, but it was as much as a used car at the time. This is the first time I've experienced a problem with my Mac in 30 years that has frustrated me so much. If 12.1 resolves the issue, great. But even if it does:
1. Apple will never admit that it was a problem.
2. The solution will never be announced. Because the was never a problem...
That's just the way it is...