Well at least in my case, it cannot be the wifi -- buying songs via iTunes directly on the iPhone downloads the songs blazingly fast. At the same time, YouTube remains unusable. Is there someone network savvy enough to have a look at the network traffic in order to find out what the iPhone tries to load from YouTube? Reading this whole topic I think the following could be happening:
1. The iPhone YouTube app needs H.264 video to be able to play it; flash does not work, as we all know. Because of this the iPhone speed is not directly comparable with streaming YouTube with your Mac.
2. On 3G, the loading time seems to be just fine, the quality is lower, however, meaning that the iPhone loads a video with less resolution and, thus, less file size.
3. On (fast) wifi---and this is now IMHO---the iPhone seems to attempt to load the best video quality possible, which would accordingly result in slower downloads. This would also explain why the downloads appear to be faster on slower wifi-networks -- the iPhone chooses to download a smaller version of the video, sensing the slower connection.
The thing that would be of interest is: how large is the resultion/video size of the video being downloaded so slowly? Maybe it is larger in resolution that it needs to be for the iPhone screen?! In that case Apple could attempt to limit the download size/resolution of the video or at least make that an option.
Just my 2cents.