Do believe what you're told my mechanics and technicians in Acura Dealerships, nor what you're told by Acura Customer Support ... they don't have the story and probably never will.
Yes, the system was being over-loaded, with the early releases of the software Acura uses. It's not propriety Acura software and other vehicles that use the system, were also affected.
Since the iOS update to 13 and the Acura update 2 weeks ago, the system is perfectly serviceable and I use it every day, without significant issues. I suppose I could be characterized as a "power user", as I do use the system for all it's capabilities and use it constantly (both my iPhone and CarPlay). As I've said before, I'll settle for about 95% performance from my iPhone and the same with my computer and Infotainment Center.
Since the iOS 13 upgrade, I'd give my iPhone a 97% and the Acura Infotainment Center, a 92%.
The Acura CarPlay IS working and working reasonably well. The few issues I've had, are not related to "over-loading" and my system hasn't "crashed" or re-booted since the Acura update.