"LOL! I can only offer what Senior AppleCare advisors are saying to me on the phone."
I'm not telling you not to believe them. I'm saying that as a forum you're saying what THEY SAID but there's no facts or proof of the conversation you had with Apple. Until there's a public statement of hardware defects then a conversation you had on the phone with Apple cannot be used as influence here since there's no way to verify this. There's always a chance there were some models that were shipped out with defects but this is in no way a widespread hardware issue especially since I and few others here have stated our machines are no longer popping in sound after the update.
I'm certain you will find you a nice machine be it a different Mac or a Windows machine to satisfy your computing needs. Good luck.