on the left hand side of music', meaning within the columns left where you see the lists 'Library', 'Store' and 'Playlists. If activating the library, then underneath the 'Library' list a new list pops up called 'Devices' and there's where the remote icon becomes visible...
please Apple, in times when you cannot deliver the 'itself explaining softtware' anymore, support your users to keep our loyalty.... not only program, but update the documentation also before release.
I think to set up control one (Apple) shouldn't use the left column, the semantics of the music's left column is different from the finder's left column..... user friendliness is mostly about consistency in the user interface all over. Steve knew it......