How can I turn the extremely loud low battery sound / notification in my Airpods Pro down?

When the battery in my Airpods Pro gets low, they play a heart-attack inducing sound that is so loud my ears start to bleed and I have to do 60 minutes of yoga and swear off caffeine for 3 years just to calm back down.

Music / media, Siri, and text / call notifications all are at a comfortable volume level, but the darned Airpods Pro low battery sound volume is dreadful.

How can I turn this down? I have tried turning down every volume I can find in the iPhone Settings and still have the same issue.