How to stop unauthorized remote access to my phone and laptop?

I won’t get everybody going by calling my iphone “hacked”, but I’m reading several threads out here that describe exactly what I’ve been going through for about 18 months. And no one seems to be able to help. Someone seems to have remote access to both my iphone (all of them), iPad and my laptop. They run me in circles changing passwords and locking me out of my accounts. Constantly coming up with new and creative ways to annoy me and do everything from locked me out of my apple account(s) & emails by changing passwords and adding extra layers of authentication (which require access to accounts I don’t have access to)…to creating an activation lock scenario where I can’t even log into my own phone, less than a week after purchasing after restoring from recovery mode. someone has seemingly made a full-time job out of spying on me and I can only speculate, but I believe on the PC/Windows side that they’re using built-in Windows technology like the “your phone“ app or some sort of remote control technology to create a remote link to their own device, and it seems to leave little to no evidence of intrusion. Then they are using something akin to TestFlight or RemotePC to monitor and remotely control my phone from a PC (or more likely a MAC). So they can watch me run to my laptop to change my Apple ID password or email passwords when my phone shows signs of being compromised. then they can watch me go to my phone when I get locked out of my laptop to change my Microsoft passwords when my laptop settings mysteriously change themselves and my admin privileges disappear. There is no security “best practice” that I haven’t followed and nothing that I have not tried to regain control. This ongoing for nearly 18 months now. I’ve literally gone through at least 8 different iOS devices, changed my phone number 6 times, changed my mobile provider (which they somehow manage to get access to again and again)…

Spent hours on the phone with Apple. I’ve spent hours on the phone with my mobile provider, my Wi-Fi provider, Microsoft and Google are impossible to actually contact, but I’ve tried. It seems that there’s pretty much nothing you can do when you have a very determined stalker. It may not be hacking in a technical sense but it’s definitely stalking. And someone other than me owns all of my devices and has effectively taken over my life. and won’t give it back. I won’t bother going into all of the esoteric data that is constantly filling up my analytics / logs on my phone. Or how it’s possible that I constantly have “uninstalled apps” when I never uninstalled anything. How someone can seemingly take control of my phone with little more information than my phone and probably and IMEI number is beyond my understanding.