Everything in the cellular network is shared among hundreds of devices.
If you get 5G UW one time and not another it could be because the UW node is at capacity, or is otherwise overloaded so you get shunted to a frequency/technology where there is an open slot.
The S20 and iPhone 13 Pro Max likely have different frequency capabilities; certainly the 12 Pro Max and 13 Pro Max do, and Samsung doesn’t list the frequencies they support.
So yes, the carrier sees the diagnostics, and everything looks great to the BSC. They send out a tech and the tech may also see the same. Unless the tech has RF gear and plots a signal map for the surrounding area they may not know about issues in the area from tree leaves in the summer (a big issue when the site was installed and configured in winter) to a new house that was built to new interference in the area, perhaps from a competitor’s new cell tower.
The tower doesn’t choose to tell your phone to use a frequency it can’t use properly, it doesn’t know. For example, if the tower had no antennas connected at all, the BSC would have no way of knowing that; as far as it was concerned as soon as phones were assigned a frequency their users didn’t do anything further with their phones.
Certainly there can be issues with the phone but it is unlikely most would have no issues were that the case.
Similarly if you do an Internet search you will find similar complaints from owners of Google and Samsung phones.
Do I wish iPhones displayed more diagnostic data about which cell frequency they are using and signal levels? Yes, I definitely do, but it turns out cell providers want that information kept away from individual users as they know most users aren’t properly trained to assess the data and don’t want calls from customers when their RSSI drops from -70 dBm to -75 dBm as they don’t understand even a change in ambient humidity can cause signal drops like that.
(As an aside, auto makers treat drivers in much the same way. Today if a vehicle has an oil pressure gauge rather than a warning light, it’s likely just programmed to show low and middle of gauge readings, as when they showed actual readings dealerships were overwhelmed by calls from owners who didn’t realize how much oil pressure normally fluctuates due to ambient temperature, oil temperature and engine RPM.)