Yes your experience and all the other problems with Intel based setups certainly seems to point to Monterey being built primarily for M1 systems. If it's not, then it's even worse than we thought!
I was considering porting my C# iOS app to Swift and investing more in Apple, but am now having second thoughts. Do we really need the added pressure of worrying about a MacOS update every year?
We went through the pain of being forced to upgrade from Power PC to Intel and had to retire a £2000 MBP early. Now it's Intel to M1, what's next? How much is it all going to cost? It'll be M1 to something else in a few years, it's like groundhog day. Forever firefighting and paying Apple and not getting on with work. My wife still uses MacOS Mojave as she doesn't want the hassle of upgrading and the disruption it causes. Says it all really!
Will look into Synology NAS, I've recently found out the hard way how flakey Time Machine is.
Suppose it's common sense not to have all eggs in one basket really, but so easy to get lured into the Apple ecosystem especially when they've become so good at marketing. I find MacOS much easier to work in and less easier to trash than Windows, but am ever hopeful that Microsoft will up their game. Maybe it's time to try Windows 11?