I see your EtreCheck report. Apparently quite a few issues are identified.
As a point of discussion, I am replying to this thread from my MBP mid-2012 running Catalina 10.15.7 (19H1922) fully updated and I have experienced no issues whatsoever.
P. Phillips has already touched many of the items noted in your report.
1 & 2 - You've disabled the automatic updates, but I don't believe the Mac's performance was compromised by these updates. I believe you'd do well to reenable these features.
3 & 4 - System mods and custom kernal boot arguments. Not sure why these would be necessary. Can you do without?
To my eye, the following are critical contributors to your Mac's poor performance:
6 - 5400 rpm mechanical drive
Since this drive is still connected to the communication bus it's important that it is performing well. Run Disk Utility First Aid to confirm that. Better yet, take a look at DriveDX for a more through evaluation of the drive. Any drive that may be failing should be disconnected from the computer to avoid problems with data transfer. A ten year old drive must be suspected of failure.
7 - 34.11 GB free space on your SSD startup drive appears critically low and likely to be an issue here. It's considered best practice to keep ~20% of the drive capacity available to keep macOS happy. The read/write speeds (527/425) are fine, but the free space is very low. If it gets too low the Mac may refuse to boot.
To P. Phillips' list I'll add...
9 - Security Risk! - Adobe Flash Player installed! Flash Player is famously problematic on Mac, from both security and performance standpoints. It is no longer supported and should be removed.
Please see > Uninstall Flash Play for Mac OS - Adobe
10 - Only 8GB RAM onboard. Bare minimum by today's software standards. Google Chrome is a known resource hog, so best to keep the tabs number low when using it. Quit that app rather than allow it to idle in the background.
I really don't think the OS updates are the cause of your issue, per se. I think performance was already marginal, and only coincidentally nosedived.
You might consider ensuring a current backup and then wiping the startup drive and reinstalling macOS. If I were in your position that would probably be my choice. Then only reinstall those apps that you need and use.