Hello GoldieOldie13,
Welcome to Apple Support Communities!
We want to help you get the most from Siri and sending messages.
From our understanding, you'd like to have Siri speak any dictated messages back to you prior to sending, is that right? If so, you can change the way you hear spoken responses in Settings > Siri & Search > Siri Responses > Prefer Spoken Responses. Within this screen, you can also disable what Siri hears on the screen as well, or disable transcription of speech on the screen. The article here goes over that in detail on different Apple products: Change Siri voice or language - Apple Support
If you'd like Siri to send your messages without confirmation, you can toggle the feature on and off here:
"You can set up Siri to automatically send a message after it has been read back to you. If you want to skip the confirmation step when sending messages, go to Settings
> Siri & Search > Automatically Send Messages."
This is mentioned in: Announce calls, messages, and more with Siri on iPhone - Apple Support
We hope this helps to resolve the issue by toggling the settings to what you prefer.
Cheers!