Sync Issues between iTunes and iPhone

I am having some issues sync my phone with iTunes in W10. iTunes updated to 12.12.7.1, iPhone (11 Pro) on iOS 16.3.1

Issue started about two years ago but is getting progressively worse and more annoying, and seems to get worse thru new versions of iOS, and didn't change recently getting a new computer (old and new had W10). If I have added and/or changed metadata on songs in iTunes, syncing it is usually met the first time with it plowing thru it almost instantly and doing nothing. The second time it will sync, but take 10-12 minutes before even adding the new/changed songs (usually 1 minute when working normally for me). Some times it syncs normally the first time.

Once it does sync on that second try, frequently there will be issues with the songs actually making it onto my phone. Usually I will have to change data on those new songs (usually adding a random number to the comments) and that will finally sync them. They will have the greyed out song title with the circle until I do so. Under general>about on my phone, I am missing 9 songs, progressively accumulating thru various recent syncs of music. If I look at all my songs on my phone while plugged into my computer in iTunes, I have none greyed out with the circle currently.

I have tinkered with tons of settings to help resolve, iTunes and iPhone. I deleted the app (saving the music) and reinstalled it to no avail. I haven't reinstalled iTunes on my computer because it has occurred on an older computer and my current one, along with iTunes functioning perfectly with over 50K songs in the library except for the sync issues. I bought the phone Oct 2020 and the problem started around summer of 2021, around when I pushed it to iOS 14 (14.5 I believe from its store-bought 13.2). I have many times done the "reset all warnings" and "reset sync history", sometimes right before an inevitable sync failure.

All music I have is my own, none bought thru the iTunes store, mix of CD and downloaded MP3s. I don't even have myself signed into the store on my computer (sync problems remained when I did for a bit). I have cellular data, show apple music, and show all purchases all toggled off on my phone.