music just starts playing automatically on my iPhone

iPhone 13 Pro Max running iOS 17.0.3 - not subscribed to Apple Music.

Frequently, when the phone is linked to some source like home pod mini or CarPlay or a speaker or something, it just spontaneously decides to start playing music l, usually starting alphabetically by the title of the song.

I have searched online and found suggestions like this one https://freeyourmusic.com/blog/stop-apple-music-from-automatically-playing# —

which says:

How to disable Autoplay in Apple Music is explained here and applies to iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch:

1. Select a song in the Music app on your iPhone or iPad.
2. After clicking on the mini player, tap on "up next"and look for the Autoplay icon (the infinity symbol).
3. To turn off the Autoplay feature when it is turned on, tap the Autoplay icon.
4. The Autoplay playlist should instantly disappear if the process is successful, and Apple Music will stop playing music on its own.

but when I try to follow these directions I get stuck at step 3 because I cannot find any autoplay infinity symbol icon that can be turned off.

help! This is really annoying. I hate it when my devices decide to do things without my asking it to.

[Re-Titled by Moderator]