Rattling noise in AirPods Pro 1st Generation - November 2021!!

I started noticing this rattling noise in the right side of my AirPods Pro (1st Gen) on my commute to work. Over the next few days/weeks, I noticed the problem started getting worse. I would notice it on both sides now, particularly in louder environments (listening to music while on the bus, for example). Then watching movies on the MacBook. Eventually on actual phone calls.

After taking a look, shaking it a bit, and finding nothing loose inside, I looked up the problem and found it to be a common issue among other folks. So common, in fact, that Apple set up a free repair program for it. I made a service appointment at the local Apple Store and they took the AirPods in the back and confirmed that yes, in fact, both of them were faulty. So I asked how to take advantage of the repair program. Mind you, this is the EXACT problem described in Apple's program here:

AirPods Pro Service Program for Sound Issues - Apple Support

That's when they told me that my AirPods don't qualify because they were manufactured in 2021, not pre-October 2020. ??? I don't get it. It's clearly the exact same problem Apple identifies in their program — even Apple Store employees confirmed it — but they aren't covered under the repair program?! Makes no sense to me. I tried calling the service number, but I got the same response.

So I'm hoping that by starting this thread, perhaps more people will report the same problem with AirPods Pro, 1st Generation, manufactured AFTER October of 2020 and Apple will take notice and some responsibility for their faulty product. Anything short of that would seem blatantly inconsistent and feckless