APPLE MUSIC (not iTunes) Windows 10 is synching my entire playlist every time I sync my iphone

What REALLY irritates me is changing something that works perfectly, and replace it with something that sometimes works. And all these updates for new "features" which usually resets any previous settings after updating - it's non-productive. <stepping off of soap box>

Ok, here is the scenario. (I have looked at all the previous posts, but was unable to find MY SPECIFIC issue because everyone else keeps mentioning iTunes to change a setting in, which I am not using - I am only using Apple Music and Apple Devices at this time).

I previously used iTunes for all my updates/backups/new songs update, etc. on my iPhone 13 mini - but Apple no longer wants to support it. Instead we are stuck with Apple Music (which I currently DESPISE!!!). When I installed Apple Music, my iTunes library/playlists/syncing was no longer existent in iTunes, so I am STUCK using Apple Music.

I had (have) a playlist called "MyMusic" which I sometimes remove/add songs to (mostly add), and whenever I get new music that I want to add to "MyMusic" or old music that I want to remove from "MyMusic" to listen to on my iPhone. Worked perfect in iTunes - I plug the phone into PC, iTunes recognizes my phone, I take a few songs out of "MyMusic" playlist and add a few new songs into "MyMsusic". I click Sync, and it would go through the usual iOS updates, ihpne backup, and updating "MyMusic" (on the phone) by removing the songs from my playlist, or adding songs that I updated the "MyMusic" playlist with. It would only sync the new songs that I just added to "MyMusic" or remove songs that I removed from "MyMusic".

NOW - we are ALSO stuck with Apple Devices in order to update iOS, backup phone and sync a selected playlist. Whenever I sync my phone using Apple Devices, it now syncs the ENTIRE playlist instead of just updating the songs that I updated in "MyMusic" in Apple Music. Does anyone know of a fix for this? It is quite annoying and very time consuming when it doesn't need to be. What gives Apple??