I think you make a good point. Laptops and desktops are no less complex than they were 15 years ago. Whether Windows or OS X, you might have to spend significant time running down the problem, or significant $ having someone do it for you to make any app work, whether you got it as part of the OS, or downloaded it. Apple has been moving toward a sandbox where apps are separated from the OS, where "illegal" programming doesn't jump the barriers in the System and between programs. Many apps, including Chrome and FireFox, are free to ignore whatever parameters they wish. If installing Google Drive on your laptop is your desire, it is not available in the App Store because it does not meet its criteria for playing well with others. On OS X, you can still download many, or any, such apps/programs
Many people complain about "open vs. closed", but many intelligent people find iOS on iPhone or iPad functional and almost problem-free (and very secure). Mac OS X is still the Wild West in those terms. There are legacy programs, creative programs, and experiments that exist side-by-side with well-crafted apps/programs that play by the rules.
We are many years away from Safari warning you that your old installation is screwing with your current settings, or from utilities diagnosing what horrible cruft is still on your computer. There's a certain reality: sometimes a problem may be sufficiently complex that an online forum will not solve your problem, or that you might not have the time or inclination to troubleshoot it.
I did say that DivX was a problem; I did say that you should remove Internet Plugins from your Library folder that you don't use, and to delete those things in your User that startup Login that you can't identify, or have no desire to confront daily.
I am a power user (more: I maintained dozens of OS X Macs in several careers), and I still have problems. I have also mostly solved the problem with Safari. You complain about the Real Memory that Safari occupies, and I maintain that is not a good metric. CPU % is a beginning, but it is only an indication of possible problems, and not diagnostic. You can decide to determine what processes are normal, and which are zombies by simply looking a few of them up on Google. It doesn't take that long.
Also, despite your complaints, you haven't mentioned which menu bar or logins that you experience. This is a two-way street. You tell us your details, we'll suggest next steps. It doesn't work for you to say "I looked at that, no problem". WHICH plugins WHICH logins? Not that we don't trust you, but reporting is a [detailed] two-way street.
So, before you diss Apple again, please tell us that you have not found DivX files on your computer, list your login startups, and tell us what Internet Plugins you have.