this thread is so long now that it takes way too long to summarize or re-capitulate. i think that different people are experiencing different issues, but it all kind of comes under the heading of ios syncing over wifi. i am following this because i like to sync my ios devices from within itunes over wifi and somewhere along the line, that went from being perfectly reliable to being very hit or miss.
fwiw, and as i mentioned in prior posts many, many pages back, things have gotten better for me by specifying the hostname for my mac and then -- most significant -- messing around with whether the ios devices are plugged into power or not. apple says that wifi sync is only supposed to happen when the ios device is plugged into power. that is definitely not the case, and never has been as far as i can remember. but even more counter-intuitively, i can report that very consistently, if my ios devices are not plugged into power when i start itunes, they almost always show up available for wifi sync. and if they are plugged in and don't show up, i can almost always get them to show up by unplugging and plugging them into power (usually waiting 30 seconds or so after either plugging in or unplugging).
in my experience, there is definitely a connection between plugging into power and being available in itunes for wifi sync, and the inverse of what apple says is supposed to happen is what mostly happens for me.