I can’t seen to connect my phone to the tv
Why is it not letting me connect my iPhone XS to the Apple TV?
iPhone XS
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The only pairing would be for the remote app, is that what you are trying to do? If you were trying to stream audio or video then that would be done using airplay.
Set up the Apple TV Remote on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support
How to AirPlay video and mirror your device's screen - Apple Support