I hope this helps you MammothHam...
Unfortunately, in Apple's misguided wisdom, notifications go to either your Apple Watch or iPhone, but not both!
- If your iPhone is unlocked, you'll get notifications on your iPhone, instead of your Apple Watch.
- If your iPhone is locked or asleep, you'll get notifications on your Apple Watch, unless your Apple Watch is locked with your passcode (ie when you put it on after charging and haven't put in your passcode).
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204791
Through reading through all the previous advice on this and other discussion pages, I have found that there are a couple of work arounds (in addition to your airplane mode).
- Turn off Wrist Detection (in your Apple Watch app on your iPhone). This will however, not let you use Apple Pay etc. Messages should now appear on both Watch and iPhone.
- Turn off your Watch Notifications in Messages, or Send to Notification Centre (in your Apple Watch app on your iPhone). This will allow the messages to appear on your iPhone, but not your Watch. This would be an issue though if you are using your Watch without being near your iPhone (eg you go on a walk without your iPhone).
My issue with notifications and the phone not ringing started back when the iOS 13.1.2 update was installed back in October 2019. I didn't get my Apple Watch until Xmas 2019 so the watch wasn't the issue at that stage.
Again, through all my research, I found that there was a bluetooth issue with that update which was one of the major causes for the phone and messages to not not ring. For instance, if you get a text and you don't have your watch connected to the Bluetooth, then you get notified of your message on the iPhone by both the ringing and notification on the screen. For those that don't have an iPhone, then it may have been their Mac connected by bluetooth, or something else. One person found they had bluetooth speakers that although turned off, were still connected to the BT so it caused them the issue. Another person found that their car's bluetooth in the garage had been causing the issue. So you need to check ALL bluetooth connections and delete any unnecessary ones.
Another of the issues was due to iMessage being turned on. For instance, when my daughter texted me on her Samsung, I didn't receive notifications/ringing. If my husband texted me on his iPhone, I also didn't receive anything, however, if my friend texted me from her iPhone, but had her iMessage turned off, then I got the notifications!
Apple sent out a couple of updates to fix these issues, which they may have been, but as I got the Apple Watch and didn't realise that you couldn't have notifications on both at the same time (so thought the issue continued), I can't tell you if or when the initial issue got resolved.
There just seems to be way too many issues that are not being resolved, at least in a timely fashion. It doesn't help that Apple have chosen to have notifications to behave the way have either. Very disappointing. I feel Apple will lose a lot of customers from these issues as they go on for way too long.
Anyway, I hope this helps you understand a little more about your issue, even though I don't believe it will solve it.