iTunes crashed and removed my library and playlists, itl library file says damaged, please help

I am using the latest version of iTunes on PC and have done all the updates/saving for years. All my music is complete in the iTunes Media folder. My problem is re-loading the playlists and music to iTunes itself.

“Empty/corrupt iTunes library after upgrade/crash”

I have tried using this advice but my last previous saved library is from Sep 2018 (I don't know why that is) so is of no use. I have complete/working iTunes Media folder and XML file I made on current hard drive but no working itl files because iTunes seems to have damaged them from the sudden crash.

I also made an external hard drive back up Aug 7th (several days before the crash) following these instructions exactly "“Back up and restore your iTunes library on your PC” but I can't find the itl file anywhere on the back up drive. I have XML file on backup which I made that day but every time I try to import it iTunes crashes before complexion. It imports for about 3 hours (my library is quite large) and the playlists start to re-appear but then iTunes suddenly closes and all progress is lost.

I also have many temp. files. I renamed the latest one to .itl and tried to import, again it took about 3 hours but crashed just before complexion like the xml file. Desperate to get my playlists back, I don't even have the headings anymore in itunes, they have gone completely.

I am confused and not sure what to do next? Thanks.