I have found another workaround for this issue, at least it worked on my wife’s XR, sorry if it has already been mentioned before.
I know people with this issue have discovered that if you turn off Cellular Data before making/answering a FaceTime video call it won’t disconnect from wi-fi, but if you just to go Settings->Cellular and under Cellular Data turn off FaceTime, this will prevent it from ever using cellular data and will stop the wifi disconnects/auto-switch to cellular data during a video call.
I found this to be easier than turning off/on Cellular Data every time, it works for her because she is mostly using it over wifi anyways. When needed while not on wifi she can just turn it back on Settings.
This is clearly an iOS bug, my iPhone 11 does not have this issue but her XR does, interesting enough it does not occur when she FaceTimes me but it does when she FaceTime others.
Hope this helps.