I give up.
My whole house is using Homekit as a front-end for automations.
The whole system is unstable for two years now and every iOS update I keep my fingers crossed and hope that bugs are fixed... but unfortunately in vain.
An example: I have an automation that when me or my wife arrive home, the gate needs to open. In literally 90% of the cases Homekit is unresponsive and nothing happens. I need to close the whole app and after a restart and after 1-2min Homekit is able to reconnect. Pretty frustrating.
The amount of time I have spent with reviewing my network, buying a different router, etc... the problem is that all my other services work 100% of the time on any type of router, within my network and also from outside my network.
This one now is the drop.. in the never ending struggle to make HomeKit a workable system I moved it from an always plugged in iPad pro to my apple TV. Hoping this could be the magic solution... only to encounter that my wife is now not able to use HomeKit.
I am using Node-Red as the main component in my house (bridged to HomeKit), and I have started to build a GUI using the Node-Red dashboard. Remote access to the dashboard is possible using the "Remote-Red" app.
Opening the gate will be done using IFTTT or Google Home.
Rather than spend my time on trying to fix HomeKit, I will put my energy in building a beautiful tailor made GUI.
I wish you all the best of luck with HomeKit, but after a long struggle I need to say farewell :-)